Whooooo are you?

So I chose a new background. I didn't realize it had owls on it until it was on my blog. Oh well, I can work with it. These little owls are staring at me, I swear. They are whooo-ing at me with the boog-a-ly eyes. Whooo whooo whooo whoo..... Who are you?

Lately, I find myself in a darker place than I'm used to. I am questioning every decision I've ever made. I feel like I have failed. I am failing at my own life test. I hate failing. I was the girl in school with the highest score, the coolest project, the girl in the front of the class. Now, I am failing. Did I mention I hate failing?

This feeling is hitting me hard.

Every day the pressure is more intense. Heavier.

But everyday I see a part of me that needs to change.

Is this feeling of failure a result of never actually focusing on my own success? My own needs? Wants? Dreams? Does anybody know that about me? I don't.

I take a deep breath as type this... the sentence that I always thought of negative, annoying selfish, conceited, careless, self-indulgent......

It's all about me.

Yes, I said it. The annoying sparkly pink sticker on binders and car windows. The stupid pink t-shirts with glitter.... It's all about me.

This doesn't mean I am all of these things that I once thought about this statement. I was wrong about the meaning behind it... obviously my is a much more intelligent one.

To me, I now take this statement much more positively. It is all about me because; I care about me. I want to take care of me. I want to be me. I want to take a look at me and like me. I want to be proud of me. I want to be my example.

Here is a visual:

Mr. Frank. Good boy. I want to be him too. Perhaps a pink glittery t-shirt would be appropriate in this situation.

"I like being free and feeling the wind in my ears. Everybody smiles as they pass my truck. Yeah, Im cool.

Now roll down the damn window, I have some impressing to do."

Slippers

I had a conversation to today with my slippers. Actually they aren't even mine, they are Bobby's, but I wear them more than he does. They are camel brownish, from Target, squishy as could be soles,about 4 sizes too big and ugly as sin. An educated individual guided me to find these slippers as I mentioned them in a dream I had. She said that perhaps such a little thing, like your slippers, could help you find your way (in real life) That perhaps my slippers could guide me to find... me.
So, as I sat, staring at my slippers; I told them how much I liked them. They were so warm and cozy. I could wear them in any room of the house without getting dirty socks, or stepping in doggie water drippings. I would wear them to do laundry, I could wear them while sitting in the lazy boy. I realize now that my slippers do something for me. As my life these days is unsuccessful, dull and lacks motivation- my slippers make me happy. When tasks become too stressfull and nothing seems to go right, my slippers can be worn.

I will be thanking my slippers now for keeping my tootsies warm and later for keeping my head moving.