Inspired

I really really wish I was typing this on a real keyboard! On my phone my thoughts cannot be fully explained.
I took the "back" way from Pleasant Hill to Elk Grove today and I had a mind, heart and soul awakening journey.The sun was so warm it felt like I was getting a tan through my jeans, the landscape was so sprawling I could see for miles. The roads were not perfect and had thousands of seam lines and potholes. There was little traffic and even when the cars were going 55 on a one lane highway there was never any urge to pass. I found peace in the fallen silos and abandoned farm equipment. I found appreciation in the land to which so many people work so hard to provide food and water. I went back to being 9 and playing hide and seek in bails of hay and imagining a Lewis and Clark adventure behinds trees and fallen fences.
I am relieved to say this was an awakening for me. The winters have made a trend of getting the best of me and I am thankful for the life injected into my bones today. Although I can't say that I am completely fixed nor have I figured the cure for my indecisive, impatient, sadly unmotivated self-I was able to be reminded that I do have depth and heart for many thing.
Today, I took the road less traveled and it has made all the difference.

What did you want to be when you were a child?

It was the common question: "What do you want to be when you grow up?!" I can remember saying things like a Marine Biologist- I don't remember having an obsession with marine life but you know how it goes when you're little; you see Free Willy or visit Marine World and your imagination goes crazy. I also said things like a Dentist- which I attempted as an adult (sort of) and that fell flat. I also wanted to be a teacher and spent most after school hours forcing my cousins to play school with me. All summer days included some form of imaginary classroom attendance and elementary workbook. The most pleasant and enjoyable childhood memory I carry is that of the imaginary classroom, handmade tests, cardboard box school buses and detention slips.
Right now, once again I am contemplating my college direction and the hovering pressure to choose a success path and an official title to what I want to become. I am pursuing a degree in Business Administration and have yet to find a passion towards any concentrations. They say, find what you love to do and you'll never work a day in your life. I'm not sure I have a love for business, in fact I a may only be choosing this path because it seemed to be the most direct and covers a broad range. What was it about being a child that allowed such a passionate and confirmed decision about becoming a working adult? Playing and pretending to do adult work is SO different than real life! So I sit here considering this: perhaps I had the right idea from the beginning, before all of the adult thinking and reasoning came into play. Perhaps going back to where I started is right where I'm meant to be? Maybe I knew myself better back then and the now me has just got lost in adulthood?
Now, time comes into play. And money. Do I have enough to start over? Would it be worth it? Or how can I transition what I already have and mix it with something backed with passion and create a convenient, swift and guaranteed happiness story? Wow, my constant attempt to figure life out is really preventing me from really living.... Isn't it?
I will have to revisit these thoughts as the deadline approaches for yet another Spring semester. Continue doing what I'm doing just for the simple fact of finally finishing? Or take the time to explore a love and passion towards something I will carry with me always?
To be continued.....

Fuck... This thing!

Oh.my.god. Have you ever used one of these devilish things before? I had to sit on the floor and fuck with it for 30 minutes just to figure out how to get it to turn on!

Here is a guide to putting together a food processor.... And I'm pretty sure I'm the only un-domestic female on earth that can't do shit like this so it will probably only help me. I'll use it for reference when I forget how because I only use it 2 times a year.
Use this little bastard first. The shit won't work if this isn't PROPERLY put in place like so;

Yep! Tricky lil fucker huh?!? It goes in the bottom of the giant cup thing first! NOT the base! So ya, put her in and lock her into place.
Stick the cup on, making sure the handle is situated on the RIGHT side of the lock-thingy-ma-jig. When it come times to turn the machine on, you have to lock 'n load with this part.

Use these two things together like so:


Use this deathly manta ray looking thing by itself.

And whatever the fuck this thing is by itself too.

Okay the next steps are tricky! Make sure this tunnel top thing is on the RIGHT of the handle, hold the handle steady and twist the top to the left and lock her into place.
Same with this thing useless piece of plastic tube thing... Place to the right, twist to the left. BUT wait! The bottom cup won't lock into place if the mother fucker is already plugged in and this useless plastic thing is locked! SO! UNLOCK the plastic useless thing, plug in the machine, lock the cup in, THEN twist the useless thing which is now not useless but the key to ease of use.

Locked, loaded and ready to shred your shit. Have fun and don't lose a finger!

Yet another interview. Fml.

I feel like Nordstrom's is just fucking with me now. I applied originally to a sales position in the women's active department. When I arrived for my first interview they informed me the position had been filled but there was an opening in women's dresses. I interviews for that on Monday. Yesterday, Michelle from dresses called and said the position had been filled but would like to refer me to Lindsay in Men's Active. Wtf is wrong? Is it me? Why can't I get a job? I'm beginning to lose hope and it's only fucking Nordstrom's! I will be in a big hurry later today so I'm posting the pic that I took lat night; that's why I have no head- it was bedtime face with no makeup and ooogly hair. Enjoy! And stop wishing me luck I think its having adverse effects on my chances for employment :)

Vacationing in... Fernely Nevada.

Wow, a super exciting place to be!... NOT! But my mom does live here and that exciting enough for me. I retreated to the silver state to prepare for my final exams. I went christmas shopping yesterday with the madre and today I've been reading about South East Asia and also about aggregate supply and demand and the affects on the long and short run economy. Oohhh aren't you just so interested in my life! Be jelly, you know you are. I hope the study sessions will pay off come Tuesday and Friday!
Anymoo, the interview went just okay on Friday. I had to improvise a sale with the manager which was nothing but nerve racking and I slurred my words and didn't form compete sentences out of shear panic, but hopefully made enough of an impression to get a call back. I'm not getting my hopes up though. Here's what I wore:

The second outfit is what I wore to the first interview. Dress from Nordstroms Rack. This outfit is super comfy and I didn't feel out of my element.

HOLY abandoned blog!

5 months in the pit of writers black and Ive come back to life with thoughts worth writing down. I have not worked since August 17th and although the idea sounded fabulous at first, after having lived through 113 days with no job, the idea of working sounds more fabulous than ever. I have an interview on Friday (tomorrow) for Nordstroms... Wish me luck!

Moving on to the topic of shopping: I am an addict. I'm not sure if it is the spare time that I now have or all of the cute outfits I see on campus or my new love affair with @Pinterst, but I always want to buy clothes! Although I still feel that my money could be better spent, I also feel that if I'm doing something I like it shouldn't matter what it is?- Well unless of course its something totally grotesque, disturbing or illegal.... Anymoo, throughout my professional college career I have learned that by finding something you love to do will make it so that you are never truly working, instead you will be doing what you want and ultimately love. So at this point in my self-discovery I have accepted and am looking forward to a job in retail. I don't see it as stuck in a sales position either. I see it more as an opportunity to grow into a professional career that I not only love but also make money doing.

The following pictures are bad! I take them with my phone with horrible lighting and a foggy mirror but the point is to showcase the outfits Ive been experimenting with. Hopefully somebody (of my whopping 3 followers) with gain inspiration and be delighted to know the price and the convenience of where to get the pieces! And I DO NOT shop at JCrew or BeBe or any other ridiculously expensive stores either! This is the real deal for real people that do real things and therefore need real clothes for real prices! SO LADIES, put away your hooded sweatshirts and jeans and put some personality in your wardrobe!

Oh boy, this is a bad one! I took this at the end of a long day! And p.s. I love black.

The Breakdown:

Blue shirt: Kohls $12.99- depreciation = practically nothing.

Black stretchy pants and quite possibly the most comfortable pants EVER: Kohls $17.xx ( I had 20% off and $10 Kohls cash)

Black cardi: Target $19.99

Black boots: $34.99

Scarf: $? From an airport gift shop in Denver- it was a gift :)

Grey undershirt: Forever 21 $6.99-depreciation= nothing

Black Blazer: Charlotte Russe $29.99

Green Scarf: Kohls $18.00 (this was a splurge)

Jeans: American Eagle $34.00-depreciation= nothing (I have had them forever!)

Boots: Steve Madden $136. (Originally $169 but I had 20% off)

Birthday dinner outfit!

Lace Dress: Forever 21 $24.99

Black Blazer: Charlotte Russe $29.99

Shoes: JCPenny $48.99

Striped Shirt: Forever 21 $6.99

Red Jacket: Old Navy $Can't remember$

Black stretchy pants: Kohls $17.xx (with coupons)

Boots: DSW *** These boots deserve special attention because I got them for $45 and they were originally $100! First they were on sale 30% off, then I noticed the glue was coming off the tongue- so I asked the manager what they could do. It was my lucky day because he knocked an additional 30% off! AND I got $5 off for my birthday. Cha-ching!

And if anyone can offer some advice on how to format this blog so it looks nice and its not all spaced out and crazy I would appreciate it!

Never let your emotions overcome your intelligence...

Today, like yesterday and the 3 weeks before that, I do not understand my Economics homework. I'd like to blame it on the big words and academia talk that these college books like to express their teachings in. The shit is so difficult to understand sometimes I have to literally elaborate on every single word just to make a sentence make sense. Am I stupid? Or do I just not have patience? Hmmm?
So as I sit at home in tears because I cannot figure this shit out, I decide to write about my frustrations hoping that some sort of DING!! will go off in my head and I will suddenly understand it.
I have never been one to complain about why I have to take this economics class. In fact it irritates me when people say things like "Why do even have to take this? Im not going to be a freaking Economist?" Yeah, I take the damn class because thats what the college says to do and then just cry because I dont get it.
On the topic of college, I have opinions about real life and college. The whole purpose of this 4 year prison sentence is to gain a better job with better pay and better benefits. However, I am a firm believer that the most important things for a job will be learned and developed on the job. I hope I never have an interview where they may ask my for grades. My response will be "C's get degrees.
That's it. I put too much pressure on myself. I am sitting here trying so hard to be an A student when in reality I am just a B and C student. And I am coming around to the idea that it is okay. All those A students are overachievers anyway and have no real life experience. Yeah thats it.
I would much rather be working in a career where they pay me to think things out and understand them. I have little patience for this whole college thing. If I didnt like money so much I probably wouldn't go. I am a product of the now generation. Immediately isnt soon enough.
In closing, I will give myself a pep talk... You are an intelligent individual. You are capable of doing anything. Nobody by yourself is judging your abilities. A grade does not define you. . . . C's get degrees... :)