It was the common question: "What do you want to be when you grow up?!" I can remember saying things like a Marine Biologist- I don't remember having an obsession with marine life but you know how it goes when you're little; you see Free Willy or visit Marine World and your imagination goes crazy. I also said things like a Dentist- which I attempted as an adult (sort of) and that fell flat. I also wanted to be a teacher and spent most after school hours forcing my cousins to play school with me. All summer days included some form of imaginary classroom attendance and elementary workbook. The most pleasant and enjoyable childhood memory I carry is that of the imaginary classroom, handmade tests, cardboard box school buses and detention slips.
Right now, once again I am contemplating my college direction and the hovering pressure to choose a success path and an official title to what I want to become. I am pursuing a degree in Business Administration and have yet to find a passion towards any concentrations. They say, find what you love to do and you'll never work a day in your life. I'm not sure I have a love for business, in fact I a may only be choosing this path because it seemed to be the most direct and covers a broad range. What was it about being a child that allowed such a passionate and confirmed decision about becoming a working adult? Playing and pretending to do adult work is SO different than real life! So I sit here considering this: perhaps I had the right idea from the beginning, before all of the adult thinking and reasoning came into play. Perhaps going back to where I started is right where I'm meant to be? Maybe I knew myself better back then and the now me has just got lost in adulthood?
Now, time comes into play. And money. Do I have enough to start over? Would it be worth it? Or how can I transition what I already have and mix it with something backed with passion and create a convenient, swift and guaranteed happiness story? Wow, my constant attempt to figure life out is really preventing me from really living.... Isn't it?
I will have to revisit these thoughts as the deadline approaches for yet another Spring semester. Continue doing what I'm doing just for the simple fact of finally finishing? Or take the time to explore a love and passion towards something I will carry with me always?
To be continued.....
Unfortunately, there is no guaranteed happiness story. We just make the best decisions given the information available at the time and hope it all works out. Which it usually does, even if it works out different than we thought it would. We are more alike than you think. I remember wanting to be a bunch of different things growing up, but chose business when I first went to college because it felt like a safe decision. When I went back, I stuck with business because I just wanted to get done and have a degree. Now, I clean noses and change diapers all day, things my degree doesn't really help with. I encourage you to follow your heart, even if it means taking longer than you like to get "done." But no matter which path you choose, it will be the right one for you. I may not be using my degree, but my choices (good and bad) have made me whom I am and taken me where I am today, and though I'm not where I ever imagined I would be, I wouldn't change anything.
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