Fuck... This thing!

Oh.my.god. Have you ever used one of these devilish things before? I had to sit on the floor and fuck with it for 30 minutes just to figure out how to get it to turn on!

Here is a guide to putting together a food processor.... And I'm pretty sure I'm the only un-domestic female on earth that can't do shit like this so it will probably only help me. I'll use it for reference when I forget how because I only use it 2 times a year.
Use this little bastard first. The shit won't work if this isn't PROPERLY put in place like so;

Yep! Tricky lil fucker huh?!? It goes in the bottom of the giant cup thing first! NOT the base! So ya, put her in and lock her into place.
Stick the cup on, making sure the handle is situated on the RIGHT side of the lock-thingy-ma-jig. When it come times to turn the machine on, you have to lock 'n load with this part.

Use these two things together like so:


Use this deathly manta ray looking thing by itself.

And whatever the fuck this thing is by itself too.

Okay the next steps are tricky! Make sure this tunnel top thing is on the RIGHT of the handle, hold the handle steady and twist the top to the left and lock her into place.
Same with this thing useless piece of plastic tube thing... Place to the right, twist to the left. BUT wait! The bottom cup won't lock into place if the mother fucker is already plugged in and this useless plastic thing is locked! SO! UNLOCK the plastic useless thing, plug in the machine, lock the cup in, THEN twist the useless thing which is now not useless but the key to ease of use.

Locked, loaded and ready to shred your shit. Have fun and don't lose a finger!